Birth Plan for BellaGrace Christine Harmon

My Birth Plan is for Bella to be born in our home and into Hal’s loving hands without any complications. As my body has already blazed the trail of labor once, without a detour in the road, I have confidence that she’ll be able to do it again. I plan to move with the pain, howl in it’s face, dance with it, and rejoice in the mounting waves of rushes that will flow over my abdomen. I plan to birth without fear. Have confidence with me – be a part of this energy and strength. I will be connected to every woman – every mother – in the world through this powerful experience.

Before my head grows too big, and my britches get too tight, let me say that I do have a plan for the “what ifs” that may arise during this labor. I know that even the most supported and confident of woman can have complications during labor. If these complications require more interventions than what my midwives can provide and should I find myself transferring to a hospital, I will not see these interventions as a sign of failure on any level.

I will have confidence that the hospital staff will be made a part of my birth team. I will be thankful for the technology that will help bring Bella into our world. I will welcome the hospital staff and their knowledge into this most sacred rite of passage as part of BellaGrace’s birth story. And together with the staff, my midwife, and my husband I will still make my own decisions as to what happens with this birth. If I can do that, I can embrace what-ever experience I may have as my own – brought about by my own power of knowledge and choice.

I have faith in my support team to guide me in the right direction, faith in my husband to give me strength to make the right choices, and faith in myself to birth my dear sweet baby girl with only the love and desire to see her arrive safely into our world.

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40 weeks 4 days

This may be too much info for some… but…

Yesterday, as I was standing in the kitchen I felt a tiny gush of liquid come out of me. There was a wet spot in my underwear with a little discharge in the middle. I called my midwife and doula to report the progress. Sure enough, my body is getting closer but still, no cigar! It wasn’t my bag of waters breaking – but more likely the rest of my mucus plug falling out. Often when the plug falls out, it is accompanied by a small gush of fluid. If it had been my bag of waters the fluid would have leaked more. Heidi said most likely within the next couple of days active labor will start. Yes!

Hal is hoping with all of his might that I give birth on Friday. He is very excited about the prospect of having our little girl born on groundhog’s day.

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40 weeks and 3 days

I really wanted to take Max to story time at my husband’s library today but while my head is saying, go, go, go! My body is saying… stay home and rest, you are tired, you need to conserve energy, blah, blah, blah. Well, my body won out because if she doesn’t she reeks havoc on my brain.

Yep, still pregnant.

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40 weeks and 1 Day

Hal’s prediction is that I will go into labor this coming Thursday. I wish that meant something for me. All I know is that she has the next two weeks to come out on her own and then it’s off to the hospital for a little pitocin! I highly doubt it will come to that, though.

Hal has asked me, again, to let Heidi check my cervix to see if I’ve dilated at all. I think what I’ll do is have her e-mail the results of her findings directly to him so I don’t have to know. I really don’t want to be sitting at four centimeters (knowingly) for the next five days.

My curtains that I wanted to sew are finally getting sewn… but not by me! Grandma has volunteered to do it. Thank gawd because they would never leave the stage of just being pieces of fabric otherwise. I know that if I put my mind to it and put the time into it I could learn how to sew and I’d be really great at it (at least the simple things like curtains, pillows, and cute stuffed animals). My problem is lack of time and motivation. Still, it is on my list of feats I’d like to accomplish so… one day…

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no baby… yet.

Hal has been hanging out with Max all morning. I slept in to the glorious time of 10am (which actually was a long 2 hour increment – because I’m still waking up every 1 – 1 and 1/2 hours to pee). We were out of soy milk this morning (I am a cereal person and can’t function before I’ve had a bowl of it) so Hal made me a fried egg sandwich with ketchup for breakfast. The only way I can eat something like that is if someone else makes it for me and if the eggs are organic/free range. I can not handle preparing eggs – they actually gross me out. You know, see no evil, hear no evil – hey, there is no evil!

We are dropping Max off at grandma’s for the afternoon, going out to lunch, then coming home to relax. I was going to military style clean the downstairs area of our house but – fuck it – the house is “ready enough” for me to go into labor. We deserve to take it easy these last few days.

I imagine when Max is 30 years old, I will still be able to look at him and see his two year old face. This thought occurred to me as I stared at him this morning. Sometimes, it seems like he will be two years old forever – and I like that feeling.

Last night as I was having some mild contractions I thought to myself, these are going to get 20 billion times more intense – painful – so why the hell am I so eager to go into labor again??? Yeah, after that I immediately started appreciating my labor free time.

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40 weeks – Due Date!

Just taking it easy…

My kid has been watching so much TV.  More TV than I ever imagined I’d be okay with.  I never thought I’d hear myself asking him, do you want to watch something on the TV? as many times a day as I have been.  Curious George and The Land Before Time are on heavy rotation.  And you know what… not an ounce of guilt about it.  Just surprised!

I can’t wait to get my energy back, though, because I don’t want my kids to remember their childhood through a film of, um, film.

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Soooo Sleeeeepy – Coffeeeee Give Me Strength

Hal decided to go into work today so that he can have more days off once Bella arrives. A very wise decision on his part and for the whole family. However, the totally selfish side of me wishes he was here right now so that I could be sleeping.

I woke up every hour on the hour last night to pee and because I was having contractions. Contractions that have gone away since the sun came up. I am miserable, today. There is a pot of coffee upstairs brewing right now as my last vestige of hope to stay lucid. I really want to sleep but you know, having a two year old makes that impossible.

I’m not worried about drinking coffee and not being able to sleep when Max is ready for his nap – at this point, I could sleep through a horn festival going on outside my house.

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39 weeks 7 days

I’m sad to report… false alarm. I feel like an anxious first-timer who doesn’t know what to expect when she goes into labor except I’m the anxious second timer who doesn’t know what to expect! My whole pregnancy has been so new and different even though my body has done all of this before. Even the shape of my belly is different.

Once I laid down to sleep last night – the contractions disappeared.

I feel a little bad because my husband took off work today (started his month long vacation) and today happened to be, like, the most important meeting of the year for youth librarians. He feels horrible about missing this meeting (for no reason) but at the same time (he says very convincingly) that he doesn’t blame me(?) in any way. Well, I feel bad – big time.

If we don’t go into labor tonight, I’m leaving it up to him as to whether or not he goes into work tomorrow. Either way, if he goes or doesn’t, I benefit. Should he go into work, that will just mean more time that he’ll be home after Bella arrives. If he stays home, that is more time with Max and I before she arrives. And since I’m feeling extremely tired all the time, I would love his help and company during these last few days with Bella-Belly.

We took our sweet time getting to MIL’s house this morning to pick up Max. We even went out to breakfast first. Then to our surprise, MIL had some errands to run and wanted to take Max with her! So we went on a long (too long for my bladder) walk down to the ocean. We sat, took in the scenery and talked. It was the most beautiful day today. The temperature was crisp enough for sweats – which we seemed to unknowingly slipped into matching black and white sweat suits this morning (how embarrassing) – and the sky was bright blue and cloud free. I’ll never forget the sound of that ocean today.

When we got back to the house my MIL arrived shortly after. She had bought Max the cutest tricycle that he is just thrilled about.

Grandma and I went to Publix to get sandwiches for all of us, we had lunch, then we all took a long nap (Max and I the longest, of-course). The day was pretty relaxing and since I stopped feeling like total shit for Hal missing work “for nothing,” it turned out to be a great day.

But now, it’s on. We are going to start doing EVERYTHING possible to facilitate labor. Oh yeah, it’s on.

…okay, I take that back… I need to just stop wanting it so badly and relax… she will come when she is ready.

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39 weeks and 6 days

I woke up this morning with my left ear feeling like the beginning of an ear infection.  Luckily, I have some stuff on hand for that (an old, but not too old, prescription).  So far, it hasn’t gotten any worse.

I just sent Hal to his mom’s with Max and an overnight bag for the bossman.  I’m having stronger contractions that are telling me that tonight could be the night.  Hal has officially started his one month “vacation” – whether I go into labor soon or not.

My contractions are like strong menstrual cramps that are coming and going. This afternoon as I was laying in bed they were like a dull steady menstrual cramp that only went away once I stood up.  Even if I don’t go into labor tonight I’m happy that Hal will be with me and am comforted by just being prepared if I do.  Not having to take Max at 3am to grandma’s is a good thing especially since she seemed annoyed that I didn’t wait to go into labor when it was more convenient for her.  She also originally said she’d take our dogs and has reneged on that commitment.  She is having a little party on Saturday and doesn’t want her floor to get dirty.

ANYWAY, here’s hoping to meeting Bella tonight or tomorrow morning!

Having a little back pain (not a contraction) from bending over the sink preparing the last of the foodstuff:

I got everything made that I wanted for labor.

And put away!

Lion Hug before saying goodnight:

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39 weeks and 5 days

After my last post Max and I laid down and napped for four hours.  Then, when we got up it was time to get ready to go over to my MIL’s house.  So, yes, my day got better.

My MIL gave me a pedicure and waxed my legs, tonight (she is an esthetician and owns her own little shop).  I’m hoping that all that foot and lower leg rubbing stimulates labor – but I’m not holding my breath.  As she was ripping what felt like chunks of  skin off my lower leg she confessed that she should have trimmed the hair down to a quarter inch – you know, because it hurts less.  She put it to me like this, “I thought I’d get away without the trimming but your screaming is telling me otherwise.”  Did she stop to pull out the clippers?  Nope, she just kept ripping away.  That shit hurt worst then getting a tattoo. We were actually laughing the whole time – especially when I pointed out how much she seemed to be enjoying my pain!  She was like, “Mwooohahhaa!  I’ll get the last laugh my dear!  Mwooohahahhah!”

Sicko.

I got Bella’s clothes washed today.  They are all just so tiny and cute.

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