The irony of listening to, Crass – Penis Envy, while doing housework is far from lost on me.
I’m eagerly awaiting the new designed, Fuzzi Bunz, to reach their distributors. Bella has been wearing Max’s FB’s. They are too big and the elastic around the legs is shot. Bella is in serious need of her own cloth nappies.
For a short time this morning I feared that my calm outlook on the daily grind (home with the kids) was already heading downhill and taking a turn for the worst. Bella was crawling after me for about 30 minutes while I attempted to quickly pick up the junk all over the floor. Then, she was itching like crazy and as per usual, protested the ritual of changing her nappy and caring for her skin. This protesting = pain for me because it is my right hand that hurts the worst. My right hand is the one she aims for when kicking.
She was so crabby that I was sure I’d have to spend the rest of my “free-time” (what a joke!) holding her. To people living without chronic pain, this may seem easy and ideal. For me, carrying her is painful.
I feel bad typing this all out but in addition to what I just wrote, I have to admit to myself that I don’t spend nearly as much time one on one with Bella as I was able to do with Max. Nor do I wish too. Don’t get me wrong, the time I spend with her everyday, one on one, just playing is delightful (all 10 minutes of it). I just can’t – and don’t want to – do it as much as I did with Max. I really need to work on carving out “Bella and Me” time. Also, (to continue the grumbling) her skin issues suck the life out of me. I get so depressed at night when she wakes up scratching.
After a freak out period this morning, after calling Hal and crabbing at him for leaving me with a messy house (for a moment there, it was all his fault), I gave Bella a sippy cup of water and she instantly stopped following me around. I immediately called Hal back to let him know that order had been restored.
Whew. The ride downhill was a short one.
Now, I better get back upstairs before Bella’s content in the playpen turns ugly.
