I’m happy to say… he hasn’t even noticed over half of his toys are missing. Whew.
Archive for the ‘Max’ Category
Lots has been going on.
The Monday before Thanksgiving, I started to seriously consider taking Max out of his preschool. I don’t want to get into detail as to why I feel this way (too long and rambly) but just know I witnessed several different dynamics and actions in his classroom that I do not agree with. It really boils down to the fact that the preschool he was at had a mode of operating that isn’t compatible to the realities of children.
The same day that I started to feel strongly about Max needing to change preschools… a nature mama friend, H, said she was thinking about starting a preschool in her home. H met a woman who was interested in teaching and who is a friend of a friend, thing. In other words, connected to the natural parenting/earthy/healer-type community. Talk about things falling into place. Today, just a week later, I met with Max’s new teacher at H’s house. Max will be going to a very dear friend’s home for preschool Mon, Tue, and Wed from 8:30 am – 2:30 pm. I am so relieved.
I took Bella to her first acupuncture/NAET appointment yesterday morning. Dr. L seems to really know her stuff, is kind, honest, and in general a warm person. In other words, she gave me good vibes. At this point, I am doing everything within my powers to help Bella and it is time to move into the next realm of help. I left Dr. L’s office feeling relieved, understood, and hopeful that she will be able to help Bella.
Admittedly, I am not convinced that NAET will help. No amount of personal testimony will convince me of it’s ability to actually cure a person of their allergies. This is one of those things that I need to see/experience to believe. I do, however, have personal experience with acupuncture working to relieve severe pain by controlling the inflammation in my joints. Bella will be receiving Chinese herbs through my breast milk (I will be taking them), acupressure (needles are not used on babies), and NAET therapy. I have also been a strict bitch about my diet for the past 2 ½ weeks. Controlling what I eat helps her skin but she is still itching.
My father in-law (whom I get along with very well) is building a swing set with a slide, deck, and sandbox in our back yard. He is the kind of builder who is very meticulous and goes all out so this is going to be quite a little playground for my children…
Hal battling the wasps on our porch. They are relentless in claiming their territory…
The play space isn’t completed, yet, but the swings are set up so today the kids got to enjoy their new play space…
Okay, sometimes it really is hard to pick just one…
Max is really into doing puzzles. He can do a 48 piece puzzles all by himself!
Hanging out by his finished work:
Bella looks like she is going to love books, too.
Look Ma! I’m standing!
Deep Thoughts by Michelle Harmon:
Sometimes when you think a person is a little crazy it turns out that they are. Then, you know it is necessary to build a fence around your yard – one made of pretty stone.
I run downstairs to write and surf the net for five minutes. I’m in need of a little respite from mothering. Bella is getting in her top two teeth at the same time and is just absolutely miserable. I feel sad that she is suffering and understand her clingyness, but… I also feel annoyed and frustrated that I can’t set her down for any reason or length of time. She is in her crib crying as I type this little paragraph…
… Max’s birthday parties went over very well. Friday night we had the family at our house for dinner and b-day cake. Saturday morning, Max partied hard at the playground with his friends. It was a beautiful day on Saturday, the weather was just perfect. Everyone who came had a lot of fun. As Hal and I were driving home we were glowing with happiness. Our little boy is growing. Each age is so exciting and new.
I still muse over how I got to this very special place in life.
Our back yard is slowly becoming kid-friendly and worthy of adult lounging. Today, we had someone remove a batch of five dangerous (with their threatening six inch long thorns) reclinata palms. Later this week a pest control dude will give us an estimate on ridding the ground of those pesky red ants. I have been enjoying afternoon hours outside while Max plays. Bella watches him prance around and laughs at the birds flying overhead while I kiss and hug on her warm sweet skin.
We play a game of stationary tag with Max. Bella and I being the stationary party in the rocking chair as Max charges us from across the yard. He starts at the banana tree a neighbor planted in his yard, until we put a fence up and discovered it actually fell on our property line. His little legs move so fast and his hands are stretched out far in front of him. His face smiles with anticipation of tagging Bella’s and my hands. It’s a fun game that we play often.
The weather is so beautiful these days. It sends me into fantasy mode. I have visions of plants, fruits, flowers, and vegetables adorning our home and yard. I also have fantasies of back yard barbecues, parties, and camp outs. I have pushed moving-to-Sarasota fantasies far to the back of my mind in order to enjoy where we live now. I’m sick of anticipating a move that isn’t realistic for us at this time. I want to live in my house and make it a home. It was hard for me to do that when the space felt temporary.
Max’s birthday party brought out about 13 kids and 20 adults, many of whom drove 30 minutes to be present. This put things into perspective. My friends will drive the distance. Distance doesn’t prevent friendships and I’m always making more friends as the years go on. And as a result… as the years go on… mothering gets easier and less lonely. If the time ever arrives where it feels right to move we will know and it will happen. However, I’m done planning for it. I want to enjoy my home right now.
PS: CONGRATULATIONS LIZ!!! My friend Liz gave birth at home, Sat., November 10th, to her second daughter, Sage. I am so happy for her and her beautiful family!!!
I have been a busy bee prepping for Max’s 3rd birthday party. The scary thing is, it is such a simple party… I can not even imagine the trouble of a more involved celebration for a kid’s b-day.
This is my first time throwing a party for Max with other kids. We had a small shin-ding on his first birthday but at that time, Max didn’t really have any friends of his own. His second birthday my MIL threw him a little party. This year, I have been very excited to host the celebration.
The party is this Saturday at a local playground. It has a dinosaur theme and I’m even hoping to pull together some kind of dinosaur dig. We are ordering pizza for the main food. The cake will be vegan and there will be some fruit and veggies with dip for folks to snack on before pizza time. Simple right? I’ve been working on this shit for about a month. I don’t mind because it is fun but seriously, the amount of thought that goes into a 3 year olds birthday party is more than I would have ever thought possible.
I don’t know if anyone caught the one-day-post I made going off about my latest MIL issue… but, I have decided to refrain from complaining (in this space) about situations with her. Instead… when I have come to a conclusion about something… a lesson learned sort-of-thing… courtesy of MIL, I will post it under the title, Deep Thoughts by Michelle Harmon.
Deep Thoughts by Michelle Harmon
Normally, I like to tell people what I think of their behavior. Assholes really stink and life has taught me it is better to speak up against them rather than to hold your peace forever. Yeah, well, life lies. Sometimes peace only comes with silence.
Max is old enough (Yay!) where I can allow him to play in our back yard while I type on the computer. I periodically (every 3 mins or so) get up to check on him through the window. Nice. Bella is on the floor getting into EVERYTHING. Let the fun begin!
My in-laws are buying our kids a swing set for Christmas! I am very excited about this. Our backyard is slowly but surely becoming kid-friendly.
Max is really into dinosaur bones. I think I know what he will be getting for Christmas. He just called me outside to look at the bones he found…
Peaking through the window and witnessing his latest excavation site:
I’m trying to get Max use to the idea that, Mommy can’t play with you all the time. Whenever I tell him this he exclaims very matter of factly, You can!
Max’s version of dino-bones:
He calls me outside every 30 seconds or so to look at his dino-bones.
Hard at work:
As I was walking toward Bella because she was crying in her playpen for me to pick her up, I looked at Max and said, “Hey Max, watch this… mommy is a super hero, I have SUPER POWERS… do you wanna see what my special mommy SUPER POWERS are?” He was so eager to see. I reached into the playpen and put my hands under Bella’s arms and said, “See, all mommy has to do is touch Bella and she stops crying… and look… now she won’t start again because I’ve picked her up! I’m a super hero!!!!!” He laughed. He thought that was funny.
Later on, we were in his room playing with his dinosaur, Steve, and I asked him, “Max, your mommy is a super hero. Do you remember what my super powers are?” He smiled and said, “Yes!” And then he looked down, pointed at my boobs and said, “These are!”
That’s right, I’m a Super Hero.
Our TV has been off and the kids have been playing together all day long. I mean, really: together. They’re totally feeding off one another’s energy. I suspect this will only get better. It seems that Bella’s new found mobility makes her that much more interesting to Max, and Max to her (which I didn’t realize was even possible, but it is!).
I don’t worry about the affect TV has on my kids. However, that doesn’t mean I don’t notice what the affects are. Some days the tub-boob is on all day and it takes away Max’s listening powers. Some days it is on all day and we have fun watching movies together. And some days it is off all day and we have fun cooking, playing, and going on errands.
I try to keep a good rhythm in what we do every week but nothing is written in stone. This laid back attitude I have adopted has had an impact on how I deal with my ideologies. I use to be very uptight about my belief systems. I think if my ideologies ran my life, I would feel like a horrible mother and a worthless human. Or, I may just look at everyone else that way. No thank you. I don’t need that kind of pressure to be perfect. And honestly, it took motherhood to make me realize that I am not the ideas I believe and it is okay to fall short of the ideal. What can I say? I’m a slow learner.
I have done a lot of things in parenting the way I envisioned they should be done in my family. Most of those things place my lifestyle somewhere in the margins of our society. Homebirth, cloth diapering, extended breast feeding, co-sleeping, no vaxing, herbs and homeopathic meds, baby wearing, positive discipline (for the most part), not using a pacifier and maybe a few more things I can’t remember. These are some of the choices I’ve made that aren’t “the norm.”
These things used to be so important to me. These choices were my life. My identity as a mother was based on “what I did.” For a while in the beginning, I understood motherhood through the pages of philosophical and scientific parenting books. These days, I also understand motherhood by experiencing it.
I’m proud of the way I parent (past and present). I recognize many of the choices I’ve made as accomplishments, some as bad choices, and all of it as a learning experience. I am also happy for the privilege to have had the education to make the choices I’ve made.
The choices I made the first two years of Max’s life seem so far behind me and so small in the grand scheme of life. The challenges and accomplishments of today don’t seem to be connected to the ones in the beginning. Don’t get me wrong, I know that they are. However, those parenting choices have become one square on the quilt of my children’s lives. One square that helps build the whole.
I do use books to help me along the mothering road, however, I have come to accept that there aren’t really any books that can tell me how to raise MY children. It’s all suggestions. All those books really do is tell me what I already know to be true, open my eyes to ideas I had not heard before, and place a certain amount of pressure on me to succeed. They are guides and reminders and I value the knowledge they offer and the wisdom they drum up from within me.
I just read the latest issue of Mothering Magazine. I used to have a lot of respect for this publication, but now I feel like they should grow some real chutzpah and stop preaching to the choir. Speak about your convictions without condemning the masses. Stop printing such judgmental articles. Give your readers tools to talk non-judgmentally to other moms – that is… if you really want to spread the knowledge of your ideas.
I used to really like, Mothering, and I’m not sure if I just started noticing how crappy some of the articles are (sans Peggy O’Mara from my criticism – I love her) or if it has gotten worse over the last three years.
I’m not renewing my subscription. Mothering Magazine has served its purpose in my life but its time to move on.
We baked delicious vegan wheat-free chocolate chip cookies today and have made ourselves sick enjoying them. The kids are conked out upstairs in front of the movie, Toy Story, and I’m finishing up this post.
Today is the first time Max has stayed at school for lunch. I usually pick him up at noon, but today I paid the extra 6 bucks to keep him there for another two hours. I’m about to leave to get The Bossman and I’m feeling pretty excited to see him. I’m also anxious to see how this extended day affects him.
My FIVE HOUR BREAK wasn’t really a break, per say, but it was a little less hectic without Bossman around. Bella is at that age where she is becoming quite demanding of my attention. She started to really crawl TODAY and to top it off, she’s not much of a napper.
Look, already starting to get into everything:
Our bookshelves downstairs are like a baby’s dream come true.
Max did fine staying the extra two hours. Well, he did fine while he was at school. He completely melted down once I got there to pick him up. And on the way home. And for about 30 minutes after we got home. When I say “melted down,” that is just a nice way of saying he turned into the mythological creature known as Lucifer – only, in the form of a small child who somewhat resembled my son Max. To cast out the demon, all that was required was lots of patience, a kind voice, kind words, and reassurance of his mama’s love. No biggie.
I’m going to let him stay until two o’clock every Thursday from now until December. In December, it will go up to every Tuesday and Thursday (the only two days he is in school). We are looking into Montessori schools right now and with any luck, he’ll be starting there next August. My idea is to ease him into the five day a week program so it’s not too big of a shock for him.
I haven’t posted pictures of me lately! Well, I’ll just have to rectify that.
It has been raining all day. I absolutely love rainy whether. In the part of Florida we live in, usually when it rains, it comes down for maybe an hour or less then back-to-sunshine. Today, it has been a beautiful grey all day.
I kept Max home from school yesterday because he has had a cold since last Friday. Normally I’d send him anyway (that is where he picks up these little bugs so why not send em’ back???) but his cough sounded a little congested. There are three things I take very seriously (aka: worry a little about) when it comes to my kids getting sick: congestion, fever, and earache.
He is getting better but I didn’t want to push my luck with too much activity plus other kids. He’ll be okay to go tomorrow. Last year he got sick for about six weeks. It never got bad enough to where I felt he needed to take anything but the herbs and homeopathics I was giving him, but it was hard to have him sick for so long. It was also hard because I got sick and was pregnant with Bella at the same time. I’m not a fan of antibiotics or over-the-counter medicine, either, so we toughed it out together with the natural stuff. I’m thinking this year, our immune systems should be like steel armor against those nasty viruses and Hal will be the one to get knocked on his ass for a couple weeks.
We carved our Halloween pumpkin today! I enjoyed it so much so that I need to buy a few more. Max didn’t like the way the inside of our pumpkin man felt so opted out in participating. He also thought the inside was scary and asked me to make him a “happy face.” However, he loved watching the process and loved the end results – I wish that was how he felt about everything. I know… I’m bad.
It looks scarier in this photo than in real life. I’m so excited about Halloween!
Me trying to feed Bella:
Happy that I stopped trying:
Max successfully feeding Bella:
At the playground:
I’ve been taking the kids to the park often, lately. I’m working on Max – trying to get him to stop fighting me when it is time to leave a place he is enjoying. This way, when I’m at the park – a place where there are actually not a lot of people – if I need to curse at him, no one will hear me. I’m still working out the kinks in my responses to anger therefore, every-now-and-then, I slip and say, I don’t care what you want to do, get in your fucking car seat. Of-course, he just says, no.
Then, I get another chance to reword my needs.