I went out to Marina Jacks in Sarasota today with Max. They have a great park with an even cooler water park right next to it. FINALLY, Max’s face lit up and he laughed while running through the mini geysers – for an entire hour! Needless to say, we will be going back there as much as possible – weekly would be ideal. I forgot my camera but will make certain to have it with me next time.
While there I spoke with two new moms and ran into one I knew from a playgroup I use to attend at the local hospital. P is really very frank about her transition into mommahood and about her life in general. Her son wasn’t planned in the least of ways (which would be how Hal and I conceived Max – “Hey, let’s go make a baby.” “Okay.” Two weeks later we’re prego). So when she found out she was pregnant it was literally a disappointment. She had a career and loved to hit the bars at 5pm every night. She was a self proclaimed bar fly. All throughout her pregnancy she was certain she would go back to work ASAP and stick (her word not mine) her son in daycare. The first few months she hated motherhood and pretty much thought she had the ugliest baby ever. Let me just insert here that her son is beautiful – like model beautiful. But then, something happened. She fell in looooove with her new baby boy. Like many women who have a *choice* in the matter, she decided to stay home and be the primary care taker of her child. Now, she is a SAHM and is currently trying with her hubby to have baby #2. She kept saying how jealous she was that I am pregnant and can’t believe it is taking her soooo long to conceive when she is actually trying this time around. Heh, Hal and I know how that is. It took us four months of trying before we made this baby baking in the oven. When the fourth month rolled around, everday Hal got home from work I was like, you better be walking up those steps nekked, buddy.
P was was cracking me up the entire time we talked. We get along really well and have plans to get together next week with the kids. I love open and honest women.
Hal told me one time that he gets envious of my life as a SAHM. To him it seems dreamy to have play dates and nap during the day. I must admit, that part of it is dreamy. I’m really enjoying this process of making new connections while being open to genuine friendships. I also love being able to take naps since I NEVER get a full nights sleep. And, yeah, I like having a flexible daily schedule and no boss. But, overall, the word dreamy is a far stretch from how I would describe my life. Staying attentive to my needs and how I’m interacting with my son is the hardest and most exhausting work I have ever taken on.
We talked a lot about his perception and I shared that I have the same feelings about him being able to go to work every day. To leave the responsibility of direct parenting behind for 8 full hours in order to focus on an amazing career (he’s a reference librarian who also works in the kids department) seems dreamy to me. Not to mention, he has a nice little built in social life with his colleagues. To get a full nights sleep and come home to either dinner on the way to the table or a wife who lives for take out, shit, sign me up! What’s that saying… the grass is always greener on the other side. Yep, tis true. But, given the opportunity – I wouldn’t switch jobs with him because I love what I’m doing. And he wouldn’t switch with me either – he fully admits he couldn’t handle doing what I do… just as I couldn’t stand following the rules of the work world. I think what it boils down to is we both have an appreciation for the work that one another does.
About these morning outings… the downer for me is I loose my opportunity to take a nap. If Max falls asleep on the drive home he rarely can be moved into bed without fully waking up. I do try every time but today, no luck. He’s actually taking a nap now, at 5:30pm, during the time I need to make dinner. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have to make dinner but since we are really in the poor house if I want to eat I’ve got to cook. Otherwise, because Hal is usually too drained when he gets home from work we end up ordering take out. I told Hal he has got to go grocery shopping with me because he is a much more frugal shopper. I’ll just throw what-ever I damn well please in the cart adding it to my list as I go. If I keep shopping like that I’m going to grocery shop my way right through our savings. We are all out of our “convenience foods,” like the Boca products, and I won’t be restocking our freezer with them for a while. So it’s all about the whole foods. Not the store.
Since I’m at last out of the rough patch, aka: the first trimester, my home focus is to keep the TV off. I am starting to feel guilty about all the Sesame Street and Barney Max watches.
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