I don’t get male friendships. I don’t get my husband’s friendships. We seem to have such different needs in that area of our lives. For him, he’s content with just shooting the shit or discussing politics and pop culture. For me, it is important to get to a point in the relationship where I know what is going on in a person’s life. Otherwise, I don’t consider it a “friendship” so much as an “acquaintanceship.”
I do enjoy talking about personal politics and pop culture but that all seems pretty empty if I don’t know what a person does for fun or if they are even dating someone. Hal couldn’t really care less if a person opens up to him, though, ironically when they do open up he is very receptive and appropriately responsive. I shouldn’t say “he couldn’t care less” because he has expressed to me that he is open to having “real” friendships with men. Personally, the only man I’ve ever been able to have a deep friendship with, one that is balanced in the giving and receiving department, is Hal – and I married him.
I wish that Hal had friends who where parents, too. His only father friend lives about 1 ½ hours away. It would be nice if Hal had someone he could talk about parenting with, ya know? Someone other than me, that is.
The way that men are socialized to not talk about their feelings with other men is a disservice to the quality of their friendships – in my opinion, anyway.