I run downstairs to write and surf the net for five minutes. I’m in need of a little respite from mothering. Bella is getting in her top two teeth at the same time and is just absolutely miserable. I feel sad that she is suffering and understand her clingyness, but… I also feel annoyed and frustrated that I can’t set her down for any reason or length of time. She is in her crib crying as I type this little paragraph…
… Max’s birthday parties went over very well. Friday night we had the family at our house for dinner and b-day cake. Saturday morning, Max partied hard at the playground with his friends. It was a beautiful day on Saturday, the weather was just perfect. Everyone who came had a lot of fun. As Hal and I were driving home we were glowing with happiness. Our little boy is growing. Each age is so exciting and new.
I still muse over how I got to this very special place in life.
Our back yard is slowly becoming kid-friendly and worthy of adult lounging. Today, we had someone remove a batch of five dangerous (with their threatening six inch long thorns) reclinata palms. Later this week a pest control dude will give us an estimate on ridding the ground of those pesky red ants. I have been enjoying afternoon hours outside while Max plays. Bella watches him prance around and laughs at the birds flying overhead while I kiss and hug on her warm sweet skin.
We play a game of stationary tag with Max. Bella and I being the stationary party in the rocking chair as Max charges us from across the yard. He starts at the banana tree a neighbor planted in his yard, until we put a fence up and discovered it actually fell on our property line. His little legs move so fast and his hands are stretched out far in front of him. His face smiles with anticipation of tagging Bella’s and my hands. It’s a fun game that we play often.
The weather is so beautiful these days. It sends me into fantasy mode. I have visions of plants, fruits, flowers, and vegetables adorning our home and yard. I also have fantasies of back yard barbecues, parties, and camp outs. I have pushed moving-to-Sarasota fantasies far to the back of my mind in order to enjoy where we live now. I’m sick of anticipating a move that isn’t realistic for us at this time. I want to live in my house and make it a home. It was hard for me to do that when the space felt temporary.
Max’s birthday party brought out about 13 kids and 20 adults, many of whom drove 30 minutes to be present. This put things into perspective. My friends will drive the distance. Distance doesn’t prevent friendships and I’m always making more friends as the years go on. And as a result… as the years go on… mothering gets easier and less lonely. If the time ever arrives where it feels right to move we will know and it will happen. However, I’m done planning for it. I want to enjoy my home right now.
PS: CONGRATULATIONS LIZ!!! My friend Liz gave birth at home, Sat., November 10th, to her second daughter, Sage. I am so happy for her and her beautiful family!!!