I do have many wonderful things happening in my life right now but feel like I need to get something else out…
There is a thick fog – it calls me like a beacon while pushing others away.
Silently you sit deep within.
I know you are shouting but I can’t see the right words and you are sitting so still.
Through the numbness I hear you speaking to me, laughing with me, reminiscing with me.
I want to see you again,
to know who you have become,
to know that you have become.
I wish for you to become the woman I thought you’d be.
The woman we talked about you being.
In silence I wait for your visits welcoming the short bursts of your stay.
I cry in grief when the fog rolls into place.
I will never forget the woman that I loved even though I left her too many years ago.
Even though long before I left, she left me.
My birthday is coming up. So is Monica’s. She was exactly two years and one month older than me. Her son’s birthday just passed on October 17th. I can’t believe that I am so sad. I know that might sound dumb but grieving is new to me and is catching me off guard.