So this is what a SAHM does??? No, it’s what I do.

I often wonder what it is I do all day that makes time go by so quickly. They say time flies when you’re having fun but I don’t think that is what’s going on here!

7:30am: Max and I get out of bed. Bella is still sleeping.
7:30am – 8am: I drink my coffee, Bella wakes up, Hal changes Bella’s nappy and puts big boy underwear on Max.
8am – 8:30am: I shower! For the first time in two days! Get dressed and nurse Bella. Max is playing with his dinosaurs in the middle of the living room. Hal leaves for work at 8:30am.
8:30am – 9am: Put Bella in swing and drink 2nd cup of coffee while talking on the phone to Livia.
9am – 9:30am: Still on phone with Livia. Bella is still sleeping. In between allowing Max to talk on the phone and helping him poop/pee on the potty, Max tries to get me off the phone by pee’ing in his big boy undies. Didn’t work. I have him take his underwear off, get me a pair of his shorts, and put the clean shorts on him. He later poops on the potty (while I’m still on the phone!). Then, I sit on the floor with him and play with his dino’s while I’m on the phone. I also fold all of Bella’s clothes because we needed to rewash them – we think she was allergic to our normal laundry soap because she has a wicked skin rash.
9:30-10am: Get off phone with Livia and Max begs to watch King Kong movie. We go downstairs first so I can check my e-mail and Max plays downstairs. Then we go back upstairs and I make him some toast, me a faux chicken salad sandwich, and we watch King Kong – which I start at the scene where the ape snatches the woman from her constraints.
10am-10:30am: I make four phone calls, one to set up an appointment for my car, one to set up a pediatrician appointment for Bella (their phone is busy I still need to call), one to our carpenter who is really dragging his feet on finishing the work we have already paid him for (he’s a friend’s father so I do trust that he will eventually get it done – I know their whole family. I don‘t get a hold of him so leave a message) and one to make arrangements to get together with friends this weekend (left a message on their voice mail). After the phone calls Bella is ready to be nursed again.
10:30am- 11am: Change Bella, help Max use the potty. Sit on the floor with Max and Bella to give her some “tummy time.” SHE ROLLS OVER FOR THE FIRST TIME!!!!!
11am – 11:30am: Nurse Bella, put her back in swing (BTW… I only put her into the swing either when she has already fallen asleep in my arms or is about to fall asleep). Watch King Kong with Max. Put french fries for lunch into oven. Play with Max while laying down in our bed – he jumps all over me like I’m a jungle gym and I try to keep from getting hurt.
11:30am – 12pm: Make our veggie corn dogs and chocolate smoothies (soy milk, frozen banana, soy protein powder, peanut butter) and eat with french fries for lunch. Eat lunch together.
12pm – 12:30pm: Still eating lunch – Max eats very slow.
12:30pm – 1pm: Work on recording this entry. Max is playing on our porch.
1pm -1:30pm: Work on recording this entry, let dogs outside.
1:30pm – 3:30pm: We all take a nap.
3:30pm – 4pm: I wake up to Bella fussing. Change her nappy. Take Max to the bathroom when I notice that I forgot to put a nappy on him and he didn’t have an accident! Nurse Bella.
4pm – 4:30: Nurse Bella while watching Jurassic Park part 2 (per Max’s request). Max goes into our bedroom and pees on my pillow. I get him to put the pillow in the laundry basket – it was nice of him to at least tell me.
4:30 – 5pm: Nurse Bella until she falls back to sleep then I put her in the swing. Fold and put away two more loads of laundry. Check e-mail.
5pm – 5:30pm: Still working on laundry. When I finish I call Grandma, sit on the floor and play with Max’s dinosaurs.
5:30pm – 6pm: Bella wakes up. Max continues playing but by himself, now. I play with Bella and get her to laugh HYSTERICALLY for the first time! Hal calls to let me know he’s on his way home and to find out what we need from the grocery store.
6pm – 7pm: Change Bella’s poopy nappy. Help Max use the potty. Hang up last bit of laundry. Sit on couch and veg-out.

7pm: Hal is home and I’m downstairs finishing up this entry. I am EXHAUSTED.

You may have noticed that I didn’t cook dinner tonight. My right hand is actually hurting badly as I type this so Hal is making dinner. I have given myself permission to not do everything everyday. The house is a disaster but I don’t care. There are dirty dishes in our sink and on the kitchen counter but, again, I don’t care.

I spent lots of time with the kids, saw Bella roll over and laugh, witnessed Max’s first nap without a nappy and got the laundry done. I also made important appointments, had important conversation with a close friend all the while having to pay attention to BOTH my kids, help Max use the potty, change diapers, let the dogs out, write, and listen to Max’s repetitive chanting of, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy, mommy. I can hear him upstairs, now, saying the same thing between his chanting of, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy, daddy.

So this is actually an average day. Switch up the household duties that I get done, mix in an epiphany or two, add the occasional play date and there you have it.

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Parenting is a never ending learning process.

Okay, after checking in with my momma friends about this annoyance thing with Max – I have come to understand that these feelings are normal and that there is nothing wrong with me. He is 2 ½, we have another new baby, I’m nursing them both, my hormones are doing their thing and the boy is potty learning. This is a recipe for certain annoyance. I get that. I’ve been told it gets easier as they get older by MANY of wise mamas and I’m choosing to believe this to be truth.

I have had to learn to chill the f**k out when it comes to Max learning how to poop on the toilet. He’s got the pee’ing down but the poop is A LOT more challenging to control – apparently. I had no idea until I checked in with some of my online mama friends. I got so fed up today with him pooping in his underwear because I *thought* he should know how to go on the potty. After all, he has done it before. I did the one thing I KNOW I should NOT do – I punished him. I took away his “big” dinosaurs and told him he had to poop on the potty if he wanted them back. He cried and screamed, “I want my big dinosaurs NOW!” I just kept saying, “Nope. You can have them back when you poop on the potty.” His response to that was, “NOOOO! Gimme my big dinosaurs back, NOOOW!” Blah. I felt horrible.

After consulting with my wiser (been there done that) mama friends and finding out that it does take toddlers longer to learn how to control their bowel movements, I gave him his dinos back and apologized for being mean to him. I said to him, “You’ll learn how to poop on the potty eventually – it takes time. Do you forgive me?” He smiled and nodded, yes. I have no idea if he knows what the word “forgive” means but it all ended well. He was happy to get his dinosaurs back and I was happy to know that I wasn’t alone in totally freaking out on him in the first place.

I’ve been told that it typically takes boys longer. Yep, time to chill and let the Buddha Boy teach me patience… again.

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Domestic Goddess, I am.

Whenever I manage to cook a fabuloso meal or bake delicious pastries I feel like a domestic goddess. On the contrary, when I’m not able to keep the house at a moderate level of “clean,” I feel like I’ve somehow failed. It’s a self imposed pressure. I take a certain amount of pride in having a clean counter top and piss-free toilet rim. The toilet area is a priority because toddlers have no respect for the dirtiness that is potty germs. In fact, it seems like they look for opportunities to frolic in their own shit. Max is potty learning and I’m grossed out on a daily basis by his bathroom shenanigans.

My idea of “clean” is to have the kitchen free of dirty dishes, the counter tops wiped down, the sink and toilet area in the bathroom clean, clean clothes, the dirty clothes in the laundry baskets properly separated, and no food or random pieces of clothing laying around on the floor. I can manage all this with ease. However, the living room floor is typically sprayed with Max’s toys and the kitchen table loaded with clean laundry waiting to reach its final destination. If you were to enter my home you might say it was a disaster area. However, to the eyes of a SAHP (stay at home parent) and my husband, I’m doing pretty well.

I have finally caught a groove in managing the kids and the house. Certainly, once Bella starts teething, crawling, walking… um, growing… the groove will go away and mayhem will once again assume its position. However, for the time being I’m enjoying the domestic bliss.

This pride in my work is a feeling I only caught glimpses of while managing the bookstore. I love books but I loath retail. I hate serving people who don’t appreciate it – which is why mothering often comes with the price of dissatisfaction. It’s hard enough that children can’t really show appreciation but when your culture has a big fat lack of appreciation for mothering to boot… well, you get the point. I also hate doing work that doesn’t come with a feeling of productivity – ergo, hate working for da’ man, love mothering. I can just look at my kids and know I’m productive.

My life, by the standards of many women and at times to myself, is boring and painfully mundane. The irony of my lack of freedom and dullness is that it is surprisingly more satisfying to find appreciation in the simpler acts in life than it was to be paid for doing work I never cared to be mindful at.

Now, having said ALL THAT… I also can’t wait until I’m able to get back to a PAYING job. I have big plans to remodel our house and we can’t get a home equity loan until we are a two income household. Having birthed both of my children in our bedroom, I’m very attached to this place and would like to stay here. Short of moving to a cool metro-city – I have no desire to leave our current home.

On a completely unrelated note… I used to feel really eager to hear Max say that magical, life affirming word… mommy. Now, I can’t stand the sound of it.

Max pooped on the porch earlier today. I used his underwear to pick it up and throw it over the side. However, there is still some poop residue calling out my son’s name. He has been BUGGING me for the last 20 mins about it. He’s dieing to touch it but I’ve threatened (promised) to take away ALL of his dinosaurs if he does. I can’t wait until he “gets it.” Poop is beyond gross yet I deal in it everyday.

One of the worst things that can happen is right when Max finally lays down for sleep, Bella wakes. This is my fate today.

Messy:

Clean:

Messy:

Clean:

I am such a dork for posting these pictures.

 

I baked these today:

Thank you to the HipMama who shared the recipe site.

 

 

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Misc. Updates

I wanted to go into more detail about what I meant when I said, “I have realized in a big way that “adjusting” to having two kids is not about me but about helping Max adjust.”

I have found that having a second baby is not as difficult as I thought it would be. I have that feeling of, been there done that, when it comes to Bella. In fact, it is even easier this time around having an infant than it was the first time. All she does is poop, eat, and sleep. Oh, occasionally she cries to let me know that I need to attend to her needs. Now, with Max, this is all new territory. I’ve had to learn how to set new boundaries with him, teach him how to touch his baby sister, and help him to adjust to sharing ME with Bella. Every new parenting challenge has been set by Max’s needs and me having to figure them out. As Bella grows, I’ll face the challenges of figuring out her personal needs as well. Some of her needs will be drastically different than Max’s were at the same age. However, right now, in her infant stage – she’s pretty easy. Well, that was a lot easier for me to explain than I thought it would be.

Nursing News:

I’m down to nursing Max before and after naps and when he wakes up in the morning. Nursing him less hasn’t made me like it any more. I’m still gritting my teeth and barely bearing it. One reason I can’t stand it anymore is because Max, being the toddler that he is, can not sit still as he nurses. In fact, the only time he can sit still is when he is sleeping. Another reason… I just want to see some actual steps to getting my body back. I’m working on it… I envision Max being completely weaned within the next two months.

Grieving News:

I mostly mourn the loss of my friend while by myself. I don’t want Max to see me crying. Sometimes I cry in Hal’s arms but mostly I’m alone. The pain is still as intense as it was the day I found out she died. However, I’m noticing that the crying is becoming less frequent. Memories just flood in uncontrollably and a deep feeling of loss and sadness follows.

Potty News:

Max is using the potty almost full-time, now! Woo Hoo! He still wears a nappy when we go out (I‘m not ready to brave the public restrooms with him, yet), during naps, and at night but other than that he uses the bathroom when he’s got to go. When he wants to go by himself he’ll look at me while standing at the bathroom door, hold his pointer finger up and say, “hold on one sec, I’ll be right back, mommy.” He’s getting so big.

 

 

Bella is growing fast, too.

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